It's giving "fuck around and find out"
It's giving "fuck around and find out"
It's 21:12 P.S.T., April 19th, and there's a New Moon/Solar Eclipse in Aries
The Good, The Bad, and Everything Else Inbetween is a monthly horoscope of the lunar variety. I will look at the Moon, describe her movements, and contextualize them for you. Enjoy.
The Good: So, before you start running and hiding because an eclipse is coming, hear me out. The Moon’s last dalliance was with Jupiter. The Sun’s last dalliance was with Jupiter. So, I am going to go out on a limb here and say that the solar eclipse is giving . . . checks notes . . . justice, inheritances, relief from bonds, release from troubles, and semen. All Jupiter shit! Don’t get too excited though. Scary or not, eclipses still eclipse——even if they last no longer than eight minutes.
The Bad: When the Moon (a.k.a “fuck around”) passes between the Earth and blots out the Sun (a.k.a “find out”), a solar eclipse occurs. Stirring and withholding, the body embellishes itself and its needs leaving the mind alone in the dark. See why you shouldn’t “work with” eclipses? They represent an exceptionally one-sided perspective that leads to chaotic and unpredictable outcomes. Driving blind may lead to Jupiterian delights but at what cost? Casualties are real and damage is too. Don’t stay in your feelings too long, girl. You’ll start acting up.
Everything Else Inbetween: Like Shirley Brown, the Moon dials the phone and leaves Pluto a voicemail “Woman to Woman.” Mercury and Uranus encourage her galvanizing behavior by feeding her the chaotic words to say. “I don’t know how you are going to take this,” she purrs playful, “but whether you be cool or come out of a bag on me, you see it really doesn’t matter.” Tears fall from Uranus’ eyes and slide down their face. Mercury covers their mouth and laughs. “But it’s only fair that I let you know,” the Moon growls, “the man you’re in love with, he’s mine.” She slams the phone into its receiver, squeals, and sweetly plows ahead. Chaotic the eclipse may be, audacity the eclipse will give. Be smart but let these hoes know.
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